But there is something about dating in the era of Tinder, Bumble, and ghosting that makes it feel like, no matter how bad things were before, you definitely have it worse. In a recent Reddit thread, people discussed the modern dating norms they absolutely can't stand — and, if you've been on a dating app recently, chances are pretty good that you'll agree with a lot of them.
1. Having a first date at someone's house. Skipping straight to a "Netflix & chill" date isn't a great idea. FOX"Having the first date/initial meeting be cuddling or meeting up at someone's place. Like...no, meet me in public and don't get upset about me not wanting to come over immediately after. I am entirely too anxious to be alone in private with a stranger. Especially having them know where I live so soon after meeting." - Reddit user Oh_Mysterious_One 2. The "cool girl" conundrum. Being forced into a "cool girl" role can have disastrous consequences. 20th Century Fox"I hate that nowadays women are pressured to be the 'cool girl' who doesn't expect commitment, exclusivity, or decent communication lest she be labeled 'crazy' or 'clingy.'" - Reddit user nymphaetamine. 3. The "two-night" stand. The "two-night" stand might be more common than you think. Shutterstock"What I like to call the 'two night stand.' A guy leads you on, pretends to be really into you, everything is going great. Sex happens, it's great, you make plans again and the date once again ends in sex. Then things either fizzle out or you get ghosted on after those two sex acts." - Reddit user Huafeis 4. No longer going on "dates" once you're officially dating. Watching movies at home can get old after a while. HBO"I hate that, at least in my experience, as soon as you're officially seeing someone formal dates stop. Unless I planned it, we didn't go out. No more putting on something nice, no more movies, no more dinner for two. Just watching something on Netflix and then bed. No romance, no effort. It made me feel like s--t." - Reddit user SlightlyWiltedRose 5. Ghosting after a few dates. Getting ghosted is never fun. Shutterstock"Ghosting. After seeing it happen to someone I knew, it's horrible and cowardly. If you don't like someone just tell them. Disappearing forever is awful and no one deserves that! Treat others the way you wanna be treated, that's all." - Reddit user UpsetTradition 6. Ending a long-term relationship by ghosting them. Getting ghosted is especially tough if you've been dating them for a while. T P/Shutterstock"Got ghosted after being romantically involved with a guy for three years. Blocked and ignored off everything. I'm doing fine, I've started to develop feelings for someone else...amazing job, money, traveling the world but I honestly feel like a part of my soul has died. The last thing I sent to him was a funny comment that someone said to me. Guess he didn't find it funny." - Reddit user P0sitivethinking 7. Dealing with multiple "stages" before you're actually in a relationship. Figuring out which stage of the relationship you're in can be a challenge. Netflix"All the weird stages before 'in a relationship' are so confusing to me. There's 'talking' and then 'seeing each other' and then 'dating non-exclusively' and then 'exclusive but not actually in an official relationship' and then, finally, if you're lucky, 'in a full-blown relationship.'" - Reddit user Shishuni 8. Starting relationships with a friends with benefits arrangement. It's important to be friends with your partner, but you don't need to start with a FWB arrangement. The CW"I don't like the idea of starting a relationship as 'friends with benefits,' which seems to be more and more common. There's almost this expectation that you're down to 'keep things casual' for like, six months, before you get any sort of commitment." - Deleted Reddit user 9. Building relationships through texts. Most modern relationships rely heavily upon text communication. Freeform"I hate how text-reliant it has become. I'm a huge introvert, and even online conversations wear me out a lot. I'd rather be asked out often than having endless text conversations every single waking moment. When I'm with the person, I'm with the person. If I'm doing my own thing, I'm doing my own thing. I get why it happens, but, like, the effort put into a meaningful conversation via text cannot be compared to the effort of actually meeting up to have those conversations in person." - Reddit user necrolalia 10. How exclusivity isn't the default. You might think that the person you're seeing isn't dating anyone else, but the only way to know for sure is to ask. Freeform"This isn't super new, but why isn't exclusivity the default when seeking a monogamous relationship? If I'm going on dates with someone, I'm dating them. I'm not testing out a bunch of different people as if they're used cars. Obviously, an open or poly relationship is different." - Reddit user MostlyALurkerBefore 11. Relying on social media to prove you're "official." If you don't post a selfie to Instagram, are you even dating? iko/Shutterstock"Posting mandatory social media posts with your SO to prove that you are the best couple ever. Superficial relationship goals." - Reddit user Trollingaround69